It's time to break up with imposter syndrome.

As I mentioned in Part 1, it's a notion from the past, and it's something that we all face. The term ‘imposter syndrome’ is a distraction, a false narrative. It’s a term coined in the 1970’s, and it’s time we questioned its relevance. The reality is that most people, men and women, experience moments of unhelpful self doubt, especially at work. If this happens it is not a syndrome and you are definitely not an imposter.

In this blog post, Part 2 of 2, it's time to delve into how to handle the feelings of being less than. As you'll see, even the most successful women, from your mentors to women you idolize, experience these feelings. Including the ones you see above.

“I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school, and I just have to pick myself up and tell myself that I’m a superstar every morning.” - Lady Gaga

Tools to Break Up with Imposter Syndrome:

1. Here are some questions that Ann Bury, co-author of Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome, suggests reflecting on:

- What is making me feel like an imposter right now?

- When else have I felt this way?

- Is there a trend or pattern that makes me feel like this?

- How does this feeling compare to the last time I felt this way?

2. Reframe the situation to explain that that (real) gut feeling means, "What can I learn from this experience?" not "How am I not qualified to be here?"

3. Our self-talk can really influence how we show up, and eliminating “imposter syndrome” from our vocabulary can help us see ourselves using a growth mindset lens.

4. Find a trusted group of people that you can talk to. The people in your circle know your capabilities, and will be able to help you through any feelings of self-doubt.

5. Be aware of comparisonitis - that’s comparing yourself to others, instead play the game of comparing yourself to your former self, this focuses on celebrating the progress you have made. (This is a BIG one! I share this with all my clients.)

6. Record your wins, positive feedback, compliments in a file to revisit in moments of doubt.

7. Look for ways to shift your external experience, that includes choosing clothes that make you feel confident, listening to a power playlist, exercise to boost your endorphins before a meeting or presentation (I do 120 jumping jacks the morning of!)

The former first lady has spoken and written about how, as a young woman, she used to lie awake at night asking herself: Am I too loud? Too much? Dreaming too big? “Eventually, I just got tired of always worrying what everyone else thought of me,” she said. “So I decided not to listen.” - Michelle Obama

Most people experience self-doubt in our journeys, and by leveraging our growth mindset and our networks, we can reframe what takes us out of our brilliance. As we evolve in our careers and in our personal lives, we will always face new challenges. What empowers us is to recall our ability to navigate through previous challenges that were new and difficult at that time.

Think about this: When was a time that you were able to excel at something that you didn’t know before?

“The greatest obstacle for me has been the voice in my head that I call my obnoxious roommate. I wish someone would invent a tape recorder that we could attach to our brains to record everything we tell ourselves. We would realize how important it is to stop this negative self-talk. It means pushing back against our obnoxious roommate with a dose of wisdom.” - Arianna Huffington

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“I’ve got a lot of imposter syndrome. I think that I’m not good enough, and that everyone is going to find out one day. As I get older, I go ‘fuck it,’ I’m alright. And even if I’m blagging it, I’m going to keep blagging it. Let’s make sure the younger generation don’t feel that way and that they feel empowered and confident, and that will happen when they have women around them to support each other.” - Emma Willis (former model and TV presenter)

When you’re ready, here are some options to grow your leadership:

Feel empowered and increase your employability
Become a better leader - Accelerate your effectiveness as a leader
Increase your influence - Radically grow your visibility and exposure
Grow your network - Connect with me on LinkedIn for more frequent actionable leadership nuggets to inspire you.